I heard a saying a long time ago that I have never forgotten.
‘Kids spell love T.I.M.E’.
It’s meant to illustrate that spending time with your children, shows your love for them so much more than spending money. But what about those of us that are no longer kids? How do we spell love?
As we get older, time seems to become more and more of a commodity. Christmas seems to roll around faster every year, and there seems to be more to cram into every day. I sat down this week and tried to fit everything I would like to get done each day into time slots. There literally wasn’t enough hours.
So how do we, as adults, spell love? Because lately I seem to be spelling it h.o.u.s.e.w.o.r.k or w.r.i.t.i.n.g or even w.o.r.k. Don’t get me wrong, all these things are important, and even necessary, to everyday life, but when did they become life?
When did hanging out with friends go from being something you did all the time to something you tried to squeeze in because you ‘hadn’t seen them in forever’? When was the last time you stopped to chat to a perfect stranger or volunteer your time to a person or cause? I don’t just measure expense in money anymore, I find myself measuring it in time. So if time is that important, why do we fill every moment with unremarkable jobs and activities?
When you look back on your life what will you remember? The days you spent cleaning the house so it was spotless, or the ones where you left the bombsite behind and played with your child in the surf?
No-one remembers how you looked, or how clean your house was last year. They do remember the friendship, the BBQ’s, the bike rides and the coffee you drank with them. That is how we as adults spell love. The same way as kids.
Make memories, spend your hours wisely, and make time for life. Because that is the true spelling of love.
I agree we need time for “margin” to be creative, to play, to be with loved ones. I struggle with this too, especially when I am absorbed — as you are — with book launch and surrounding work. Sometimes it is already dark when I realize I never got in my gardening hour. Or I cancel a social engagement because I need to finish some piece of a project.
I think the solution is to set a space on your calendar when you absolutely leave the work and be with loved ones, or even alone doing something you really enjoy without stressing (i.e., not your work!). Regard that item as reserved solely for what it says you want to do at that time.
If this advice sounds familiar, I got it from a long chain of people who love to work, are perfectionistic and driven, but learned through advancing age and health issues they had to make time for fun.
Marjory Harris, author of the best selling “The Personal Power Roadmap: The Ultimate 7 Step System to Effectively Solve Problems, Make Decisions, and Reach Your Goals”